Drug Use and Intelligence…

I’m sure some of you have heard once or twice before that studies have shown that people with higher IQ’s are actually more likely to abuse drugs. What’s that shit? You’re telling me stoner Steve in his tie-dye shirt going outside to light up a doobie before the NYS Regents English exam will score better than me? Where is all this empirical evidence coming from, Super High Me?

Well apparently according to a study done in the UK (who trusts those high IQ coked-out assholes anyway?) women are twice as likely and men are half as likely to use drugs if their respected IQ falls in the upper third tier. They even took socioeconomic status and other psychological distress as control groups to ensure these did not interfere with the results.

Does this mean I’m a genius? What about Stoner Steve? Hell, he must be finding cures for cancer or finding new creative ways to alleviate my severe erectile dysfunction. The answer here is obviously certain, Stoner Steve (no relation to Scuba Steve) is not a genius, and that he is probably sleeping in his mother’s basement playing World of Warcraft with his dick hanging through the pee hole of his boxers unintentionally.

The deal is, smarter people tend to abuse drugs because they are searching for a novel experience. They are open to new ideas and new adventures. Not to mention more intelligent people can see through the bullshit of DARE and just figure smoking the occasional gravity bong won’t make them shit rainbows or whatever hullabaloo they were threatened with.

Ironically, weed is more than just a gateway to other drugs, but it stimulates the imagination. Most people do their best thinking high as balls in the shower or sitting of the toilet bubbler in hand. Montel Williams isn’t more than just a darker colored DR. Phil, he smokes a shit load of dope. How else do you think he could continue to host his show without going insane? The number of paternity tests he’s administered on his show outnumber the times I’ve said “eat my butthole.”

So the next time if your hunkering to spark up and you have no real reason for it (unlikely) tell yourself its because your IQ is above Ed and EDDY, not EDD because he/she/it was smart as fuck. (which means it probably got super cheesed)

My point can be proven with a yet another wonderful quote from Bill “hires for pussy” Clinton

“When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t inhale and never tried it again.”  – Bill Clinton

– Kevboe Castinini